Who are you living for?
Hosting this contest to celebrate Grandparent's Day got me thinking : who I am living for?
A few weeks ago M.J. Essenmacher told us how her children help her find the true meaning of happiness in her busy world of running a catering company. Ann Middleman shared the things she does with her grandkids that will create wonderful memories for them after she is gone. Both those stories, and those from many other grandmas touched my heart. Some were deep. Some were funny. All were filled with love.
Then I received two stories from Grandpas. They were filled with love and pride and even some humor. What was strikingly different about these stories was that both grandparents, in their own way, told us that their grandsons give them a reason to live.
Richard Landis’s grandson is 8 months old. Richard’s daughter is a working mom, so Richard has been looking after his grandson since he was only one week old. Recently Richard was diagnosed with cancer. He told us that looking after his grandson is the best medicine possible for him. He gets a boost of life from knowing what his grandson likes and doesn’t like, what games to play, what songs to sing and how to settle him down when he’s upset.
Bill Donovan couldn’t say enough about his 8 year old grandson. He gushed over how special he is, how handsome he is and how athletic he is. At eight years old his football coach has already predicted he’ll be on a full scholarship one day. Bill proudly told me to remember his grandson’s name: Josh Reilly Donovan, cause he’s going to be a superstar. While I enjoyed reading this, Bill really got me when he said he's trying to get healthier so he can live long enough to see what his grandson will be.
It made me think about the incredible gift children give their parents and grandparents: a reason to live. I have friends who are moms and they tell me that they started thinking about their own death as soon as they had kids. Being responsible for their children gave them a strong will to live. I know of parents with terminal illness who've lived long enough to attend their daughter's wedding or son's graduation, and then peacefully slipped away. That kind of love and commitment is an incredible legacy to leave.
I don't have kids and there's nobody in life that's 100% reliant on me. If I were to die my husband would look after our dog. We even have a guardian appointed for him if we both die. Though I'm loved by many, nobody NEEDS me to stay alive. It got me thinking - Who am I living for?
I love my life. I adore my husband. I cherish my relationships with my family and friends. I live in a little cottage, by the ocean, in a sunny climate. I feel a rush of freedom when I ride my bike, peace from my spiritual practice, and a deep sense of joy most of the time. I consider myself to be truly blessed. But who I'm living for?
There was a time many years ago when I was sick. So sick I was bed-ridden and I couldn't move without a great deal of pain. The pain was so bad I considered suicide for a time. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't bare the grief it would have caused my mom and brother. So, I've "not died" for someone, but I think that's different from living for someone.
I guess I am living for myself. I feel a bit embarrassed at how shallow that sounds as those words appear on the screen, but it's true. I am living for the joy I feel inside, for the connection to spirit that is bigger than me, for the adventure that each new day brings and the experience of being alive.
Who are you living for? I really want to know, so please share your thoughts with us.
Let those you are living for know how much you care by leaving a private page for them on your Bcelebrated site. If you haven't got a site, sign up for free now.
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posted by Bcelebrated @ 2:16 PM
9 Comments:
I think we live in an interconnected universe, meaning on some level, we are all connected to each other. So really each one of us is living for the 6 billion other people on the planet. And what does "living for" mean in this context? Treating each other with respect and compassion, and helping each other when needed. Serving each other. Here's a great quote "Be alert to give service. What counts a great deal in life is what we do for others." (anon) So whether the people you "do for or live for" are family, friends, or are total strangers, you are living for them just as they are living for you!
I like your point about us being all connected, and I totally agree with you. I believe the spirit that is me, is the same spirit that is you. Nice ideas. Thanks Stacey.
I live for the sunlight, the way it streams into my bedroom early in the morning. I live for the ocean, the way it soothes my fears of dying - in the jaws of a shark, or by drowning. I live for late summer walks like the one I had today, the sun, very warm but softer. I live for hearing my fears shared by others who still get up every morning and breathe and feel. I live for seeing other's happiness and meeting my own. I live for feeling myself less and less guarded - nature is teaching me that. The closer I get to life, the happier I feel. I guess I live for life, it's all pretty special.
Debra-I was very moved reading your latest blog. It reminds me how much our friends and families add to our lives, give us meaning, aliveness and reasons to keep living. I hope I offer that back as well. I just had a dear friend call. Her partner of 10 years is undergoing surgery right now. She watched her being wheeled into the operating room, gown and bonnet on and was reminded of each of her parents, both who died in hospitals. The thought that one day her partner would die was devastating. How do we stay in the present? Her partner is here now and will be fine. But in the past my friend had loss and will again in the future. The cycle of life is filled with joy and grief.
Thank you for having a place where we can let our loved ones know what they mean to us.
Ahhh . . . found it! This is what I'm living for http://tinyurl.com/n8b27s
Dawn, that's so beautiful. The enjoyment of simple things in life, breathed in and out, every day. I love it.
Helene, that's the great practice isn't it? to stay present when the past and future are always tempting us to visit them. And sometimes it's in our grief that we really feel how deep our love is.
What i am living for changes regularly, but since i've had a child, i've been living for being a good mom. I've been living for learning how to create a home that nourishes the souls of our family and everyone who comes into our space, and i've been learning how not only to care for my child, but all our children. i've been living for finding ways to contribute to a world that honours our mother earth. I'm living for the fun of it, and possibly the biggest reason is the fun of evolving as a person and finding my way home to a spirit centred way of being - one full of light and love. My hope is that is that I can bring more love into the world, and my work is to continuing to be an increasingly loving person. I am not sure how well i am doing any of that, but those are my intentions.
Nancy, it seems like your life is full of purpose and meaning beyond living for your daughter. How wonderful!
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